my wekend

This week, on friday I went home with my mom and I went to sleep then play soem game. On saturday I stay home and clean the house and after noon. I went to eat with my mom then goes to my friend house and stay there. At 1am my friend drove me and I was so dam sleepy. On sunday I stay hom and play game until I did all the blog. bb

summer

Im so tire, next week gonna be final and then, OMG summer. I been waiting for it so long. I feel so happy now that cst is over and finnal gonna be over soon. I hope I have a great sujmmmer.

Her

Far from a distance land
I met a girl dream
She look so light
as if
she floot on air.
Far from a distance land
I saw a girl
who look like her
She seem so shy
that why
that why
that why she wont speak
to me.

I knew her
from my dream
She seem so kind
that I want her.

Happiness

There is nothing in the world
That I can't get
Money lies under my feet
Servant under my rule
I have it all
but happiness is so far away.
It seem so close
I put my hand on it
and it slip away.

weekend.

My weekend was so fun. I went party until the more after sunday. I went to watch movie later. I watched drag me to hell. It was so awesome and hella creepy. Then I watched up. It was so funny and hilarious. I watched night at the museum. The monkey was so funny.

A girl

A girl came to me
dressing in white
and then she smile
her teeth are so bright
that it made me high
I didn't know why
and so I lie
about my life.

this is my final one......for today. XD im going walking so im gonna type this one fast. today my aunt was going to work but we actually went to my mamas shop. then we went to church. i finally talked to the girl i liked since last year!! dang! my heart felt so............so........indescribable!! XD mayb this year i can have a gf?............for d past few years, i have been rejected bcause of my "handsome" looks............but u got to admit, i look "handsome" huh? ok bb!! XD

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! lol Imao im was just reminded by my mama and aunt that i looked like a rich spoiled kid! ........and how cute i looked! >/////< rite now im hearing "Four Seasons" by Namie Amuro. hecka good!! XD on tues. im going to my old elementary school! yay! then im going to d library and help "her" make a y! account.

im so bored!!! >O<>O<>O< it smell so bad!! i felt i needed to puke. i know, i know i typing random stuff! ^^; (sigh) to tell u d truth, this is not me typing...jk im trying to fill some space.

Didn't realize this is too soon.

Walking on the grassy meadow

feeling wind light as air

A picture of someone

Fade away into eternal.

Somewhere in my heart

That want to say apologize

In the middle of my brain

say it too late.

Time come and fly

Letting the chance of years pass

Into the darkness of space

and the eternal sorrow and regret.

Years pass and now I'm

Walking on the grassy meadow

Kissing the wind light as air

Then I realized I has been

Fade away.

my life

I have so many project to do, now That I am doing carter science project. Now I am doing thompson project. I feel like dieing so this weekend I want to have fun. I just know that I have 3 math final to take. It feel so bad.

I like em girls

I like them girl

But not very sure

It not that eye

That make them shine

It look like mine

but it not just mine

People look at

and they say what

People look at

they say it mad.

Oh my pretty eye

It just too bad

that it can't be mine

weekend

This weekend I did a lot of things. I sleep over on friday and then saturday. I went to smash city fr 6hrs and I play badminton. I pawned most of my friend and it was fun. Then I sleep over again because my mom is not home. ThEN I wake up on sunday and forgot to go to church. Then I went to my friend house and have fun. and then I sleep over again until today I went ot school.

friday night

Okay, this week I been away so much. I play badminton and it was fun. I get to meet alot of new people from other school and some of them really annoy me. I went to my friend house on friday and sleep over. The we play card and watch movie.

The hungry dog princess

It's you that drive me crazy

and bring my madness outside.

To a world where there only you and me.

The sweetness of me caring and you bearing our

next generation.

It now or never until the day 

Where I return to this world

and see the morning after tonight.

The lonely wolf missing it moon

is like a princess with no dress

and the princess is like a hungry dog 

wishing for it bone.

I don'[t know

Ok, I don't know what to write for this week. It just that next week I have 3 days game and it start monday, wed, and friday. It so tire because I don't want monday game. I notice that during game day. I play badly. well imma go now, need ot get some sleep and then go to school.

my week

This whole week I been very tire. I so tire that I came to the CST test late. it funny how my math teacher look at me in a weird way when I came to the classroom. I start my chem test and after that the test end. I go party and came back for badminton practice. Now it the weekend, I went to my friend house then watch movie. x-men was so cool and crank 2 is just bloody hell.

The morning after tommorrow

What kind of tears drop that are more
powerful than stormy night
That wash away the fear on your lips.
It not a regular tears that drive
The fear away.
It me, the air ,that lifted you out
To the world of fear.
Tomorrow is that the day after today.
It the day that tears
fall down.
Not just the tears but my tears
that fall down.
That weep up a cloud of storm
and persuade you from the fear.

Dam it, My life is so busy

Ok, this whole week I alway came home at midnight because I was having fun outside. Then on friday, I came to school late and I heard that in Mrs.Carters class. People were complaining about how our teacher-student guy is suck at teaching because everyone grade are failing and that include me. My grade is a fucking B-. This is shit, It shit I told you. But then Mrs.Carters was quite because everyone are saying she a much better teacher and so she say that on monday she will be taking over the class again. and be strict on us.

It me that you miss.

Please don't define me

I'm little as you see fit.

I'll see you

when it me that you miss.

Until then, it not I

That continue to look forward.

I wrote a song

In your name and 

it begin with You.

You look so, so, so 

cute

That I become mute.

You, you know?

That I know

That you miss me and so

I'll be see you.

Should have know

I wont be coming today,

I see

the sky is blue

I cry

through you

the blue eyes.

Wondering If I ever

See you tonight

The last night that I

See the blue eyes

The sky have stars

which shining bright

but the old blue sky is gone

So will the blue eyes.

I should have know.

Be myself

I sometime wonder
What I would be
A bird, a scholar, or me
It stuck to me that I would be
Someone like you
Someone I know and want to know
I would be you but something happen
Something that block me
from knowing you
And so
I can't be you
I rather be myself

Sat-sun

I'm so tire today. I went to fremont on saturday and now I'm sick. I play mahjon with my family and it was fun. We play 5 game and I won 2. It was so fun. Then I download some music and now it sunday. I cook something to eat and now ready to go to church.

I party so hard this week that now I'm sick. I went to crab fishing on last friday.

BD party on saturday then sunday I was so tire but went to cafe and have some coffee. Monday I went to santacruz to the beach. Tuesday I went to monterey beach. wednesday I dye my friend hair. Thursday I dye my friends hair and mine. This friday I went to a bd party and just got home. Now I'm sick. TMR I have to go to monterey again. .T

im cerazy

If I know that I meet you
Then yesterday I won't be away
But today I saw you
In the end of May
What I know you know now
Till time can you me how
Have you been?
I see taht you know dkfakjflajdf
]adfjakdfa;lkdfjadsf
]asdjfjdfkjdklfjdl.
I'm going crazy, I can't write anymore
I miss you by your touch
Now you so far away, see you then

Three petals of leaves tell our story.

One petal of leave, fall on your skin

Tell me that you're thinking of me.

Day and night without saying

That you're thinking of me.

If and only if

What I say is truth,

Which you're thinking of me

Two petals of leaves, fall on your skin

We stay like this

In a happiness world

Where you with me

and I with you.

We only together for now but it a while.

Three petals of leaves, fall on your skin

To tell we are apart.

Three petals of leaves, fall on your skin

To tell our story.

Gentle Things

To kiss your gentle petal is like

Living a dream

Far and wide beyond

The barrier of life.

Decide my fade and your

Then come together to

Celebrate this day,

Where you will be me

and I will be you.

It not that I leave you

but dream control my youth.

To kiss your gentle petal

For the last time is like dieing tonight.

I look at you and saw

Your lifeless self.

Time fly and I forgot

That you be back to let me

Kiss your gentle petal.

Suicide

After some thought, I finally understand why some teenager tried to suicide just because of love. I can understand their pain that they feeling and after one rejection. Teenagers or even adult scare of being reject again and keep themself away from people. Because of that, in the mean time they find themselves in love again and it frustrate them. Some tried to suicided to escape from the pain of love. Which mostly everyone once day will feel. Some happen sooner than other or later.

San jose

After coming back from DCON in LA today. Phuong anh asked me to drive her home and I did. On my way back to my house. I stared at the red light and something saying in my mind. Coming back to San Jose is like coming back to my life problems. San jose is like a home but also a place where I fun and also a place where it make me feel really sad.

Speak to me

Since you say nothing

It's leave me no choice

but to Kiss goodbye

To you my love.

Now you say nothing

It sadden my heart to stone

crumble into pile and blow away

by the northern wind.

Last time I saw you

You say nothing

and leave me behind

in this cold darkness of love.

Now I see you again

You look at me

and say nothing

Leaving me paralyze by your coldness.

Succumb to your own love

Die in your own love

Once day I found you

and you speak to me like before.

I care for you

Go my love and stay away

Don't come back to see me die

but only after I die

Get my body and take my soul

Bury me near your side

Let me sleep and then kiss me

Last and forever I be here

Waiting till time come back

When you forget about me

Go my love and stay away

From this distant grave of my

Don't touch me and forget me

Love someone who can be with you

but don't love a blind guy like me

When you forget about me

I will forever be gone

Go my love and stay away

Don't make my heart suffer and die

Pain live

Pain unable to express

Live with guilt in my heart

Pain suffer from darkness

Stay inside my weak heart

Kiss the pain on my lips

Force to speak

Words but no sound

Pain smile to love

Break my heart apart

Sing the pain within

Memorize the sound of beating heart

Pain seek my heart

Later kill the beat.

Unspeaking Heart

I'm sitting here right now at  6pm on wednesday evening thinking about my life. It occurred to me how much I feel lonely right now. Feel lonely for I know no one that I can look at and smile saying I love you to. It feel lonely that I know my heart has never been able to speak the truth for once. I alway put a mask behind it and never been able express my feeling. People who know me think they do understand me but I never seem to be the one they think they know. I hide behind a mask to stop from getting hurt and from the pain. Now sitting I feel lonely while listen to a song and talking to someone I like but not able to tell that person. I seem to be letting other people have what they want and me having nothing. I know from time to time my feeling will not be express until I understand my feeling or even until that person get together with someone. I feel so lonely thinking about this and love song make me sad about my life. I moved so much that I don't have someone to talk to that truly understand me and I know finding the right person is difficult and easy but the right is never near. 

sexy to greedy or sexy turn greedy

I want your lip on my lip

Your body on my

So we can't be together

In this bonding tie

I want your eyes all on me

To feel my desperation

The need to be hesitation

Driving you crazy

I want to kiss your body

To feel the hill of anxiety

it letting my mind

Taking in what A lovely sight

I want to eat your soul

And devour your love

I want to have

Everything is mine.

Diary of My Life

August 28 2007 My first day of High school

It feel like I'm in a world of darkness as silent creep toward. Nowaday I feel somewhat trouble by my family and life but today seem to be the end. The silent is gone and replaced by the new beginning door in my life. High school is the start of my new life which happened not in high school but after my parents divorce. The pain and sorrow stalk me everyday and make me feel lonely. Now I think about it, it kindna look like lonely is fond of me. That why it alway near me and probably die with me.

No no no, let start off with the beginning but not a end in my life.

It 7:10 am, Omg! I'm late for High school( that me over reacted because school start at 7:50), my mom wake me up from my most comfort sleep. To tell the truth, whenever something is important going to happen, the night before, I can't sleep and then around nearly morning I doze off and then wake up late. Which is a bad thing because going to school late is like one of my best friend.

School start with a fresh start and it was fun, I got to learn my schedule which I complained about my locker and my class, it so far away, because of that, I hold my book for today, which is heavy. Class seem like fun because teacher is handing out green sheet, which need to be sign by parent of what going to happen in the class. Soon all six period is over and then my first day of High school end.

U-la-la

The wind is like a gentle hand

That calm my heart

Take me away wind

and let me be free

Free from the cries of unseen and failure

Let me be free and be kind

In a world of freedom is like a democracy today

Live my life in freedom

Like wind that all free

Never be bound by nature

Like a trapped me

From the unseen force

That surround my life

In an attempt cry in darkness

Awake the freedom of light

Carry away this sense

To the world beside

Let the wind touch me

and then let me know I'm free.

Badminton

Ok tmr I haave a badminton game. wish me good luck and hope me win. I feel like Imma lose so cheer me up tmr. Adios and au revoir

Layla stay with me

Layla is my sunshine today

Her smile shine my road of life

From far away she guided me

To her bed and stay tonight

Layla is cooking my food today

Her smile lifted my uppertide(okay I dont know how to spell this word)

Her gentle hand carry food

Then here open my mouth

Layla sing for me tonight

Her sense seem to be on me

She smile and kiss me

It's time for me to go

Lorita long road of life

Lorita is so smart

I can't match up to her

Her hair are so long

Like the road that she walk

A lone road that only she can walk

A road where there're a stop

That where she met me

But somehow I can't walk

On the road that she walk

A lone road that not many people walk

Now and then she would meet someone

but in the end, she is alone

I would stand here and there

Cheers for her to be near

Her goal that she make clear

To you and me

and when she reach

Her final destination

She would lay down and rest

For she will be with us forever 

but her Life long work will be eternal

If I ever left you

Then don't look for me

If I ever love you

Then don't think about me

If I ever touch me

Then hit me 

Okay I feel so sleepy right now that I can't even think what to write. Well this is my third blog, so enjoy it guys and go read my two newest poem.

Is love to you?

It's love

I knew it

It's love

Someone told me

It's love

I felt it

It's love

Something touch me

It's love

I saw it

It's love

Something there

It's love

I sense it

It's love

Someone denied 

It's love

All together it's love

Darkness outside

Outside 

the air is cold

Snow

fall like tears on your face

Tree

standing naked alone

Wind

shower with chills

Visit me

I 

sit there and watch

Droplet

of rain fall

Sound

of puddle came together

Vision 

of someone

Visit me

Darkness

cover the night

Light

being turn off

Pajama

I put on

Sing

song of sleep

Visit me

so the day has once go by

So long ago

The passionate

You gave to me

On my honey lips

The day went by

You came and go

And now you go

I miss so

I miss now

Once and now and twice

You took my heart

and break it apart

I love you so much

but then you don't care for me

anymore

You gave my heart 

A skipping tide

You touch my heart

A riding horse

So long ago

My heart is seal

from your cold touch

And now the lock has been broken

My heart is so vulnerable

You touch it so power

I feel afraid in my sleep

I wake it up

the terrify heart

Oh my, oh my, oh my

you grasp my heart and now I'm dead.

Saturday

Ok so yesterday key club have a dcm and it is so fun. Lorita and me went to ice skating and she was like falling heavely. Actually I let her fall because seem keep screaming and wont let go of the bucking to try skating on her own. Making her feeling dangerous is so fun. Then after we have meeting then we go to the japanese garden for 10 min and I arrive at home 10 min later.

Irony about us

The day I met you seem so long ago

but in reality it was just yesterday

We been together for sometime now

but it seem to me like forever

You say you love me dearly

but in your heart there's not me

I say it pain me so much

but thinking about it

made me "sigh(okay, here you sigh, don't say the word)" about us.

Life is nothing but irony

someone might told me that

Love is just a game

A game that you love to play

A game that isn't fun or good

A game that based on us

A game that made me hide and you seek

And if you can't find me

Then I'm so dead.

Making out

The school hallway

is the stairway to love

The beginning of every love

and the sight of first love

The school is a place to hangout

A place for people to make-out

The feeling of no privacy 

and disgusting rumor fly

I once knew a stories

of you and me

My hand was there

and you say " why touch, I just fart"

I pull and you push

The hard feeling of sexual desires rise

Surround the hallway

and gross people out

Demon of love

Love is a demon that live on you

A parasite that suck our blood

The nasty mind and the evil plot

Step by step it plans make move

Demonic aura surround us

As love move itself in.

We go crazy when it come to love

Puppets is what we are

Our heart is a string that the Master move with a twitch

The mind go blank, the heart to control

The demon open jealousy itself from us

Release outside to the world.

A us that we don't know

Greedy and sexual desires appear like a flash

The parasite sat back and smile

An evil smile that make us feel good

Until we know what happen

A terrible debt has been put on us.

A demon that come and go

Leave behind some thoughts

At last we free from this debt

As a new light shine on us

Now look toward that light 

and prepare for "TRUE LOVE".

Paris Perfume

Tonight, someone is with me

I can feel the love

A tense moment pass by me

I suck the air and it relax my body

A motion of hands

A feel kicks with the leg

and I lay down waiting.

The passion I felt that night

It was like yesterday

The gentle touch and the warm body

Side by side

We feels each other heart racing breaths

The hand move like rock skipping on water

The smell of cherry lip and the Paris perfume

Still linger on me today...

Mon amour

Love is not my life or my heart

It a mirror that reflect me.

Quiet and timid me on one side

The reflect go wild and crazy.

I cries, it laugh

I feel dumb, it feel smart.

A me I not know

And a me I do know

A terrible truth and a bad explanation

Love is opposite of me

So I can't be love

Love is not me

because I don't feel love.

Fun on friday

Friday was fun, Kamry, dalvinder, lorita, phuong anh and me went to the mall. It was a blast. Kamry was so terrible funny she crack me up. I can't believe she say those stuff to me. After kamry went home, the 4 of us bought starbuck and some food. Then we went to target to have fun and it was funny. I wish we could do that again.

Matt, Nico, and Mariela

Today, Matt, Nico, and Mariela ask me a question that make me seem very happy. They also told me something that been going on my mind for quite a sometime. Talking to them make me feel at home. A peaceful life..... but too much going on.... in my mind.

AAhhhhhhhh

Life is a hard road

A rocky with ups and downs

A life without rocky

Is a peaceful life

People chose the easy road to walk

A flat road that give 50% in effort.

A heart road is 100% effort

but a hard one.

Omg, What is wrong with me, nothing is coming to my mind. WTF is this, a topic I want to forget

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, 

Love is a demon

that eat your soul

A demon that live

and a parasite that drink your blood

A demon of greed

that want more and more

A cruelty is dissapate

A feeling of sin

Life is a hard road to walk

Life is like a rainbow with without colors

A journey call life is to find those colors

A distinct line seperate each colors

Life then make up of many colors

Ok, I'm so bore right now that I'm about to go crazy. My life is so uproar right now that I want to close myself from the world. Sometime I wake up telling myself to close myself. No friends, no weird feeling for someone. I wanted to be like how I used to be when I was in middle school and elementary school. Quiet, timid, only to myself, don't smile, alone, and no friend. Now that I'm in high school. I got more friends and the heart and feeling I keep deep down inside, I have to open it up to accept other people friendly feeling. A closed heart that now open is like a newborn child that can be hurt easily. My heart is feeling like that right now. I don't want to feel what I'm feeling right now because I think I'm scare of it. I think I scare of this feeling more than I ever been afraid in my life. I once feel like this before and it was hurting me more than someone else. ^.^ Now thinking about it make me feel dumb but something starting to came back to me again. In my heart that I can't reject it. It came slowly like a stalker that stalk you but the person that stalking me right now is me. How irony is that? A feeling I don't want to have because I will do stupid things and when it all over, I will feel stupid and people will think I'm weird(it not like I care) but I scare that a scar will be left in my heart and I will close my feeling in an iron box. If you reading this blog, You probably guess what I'm feeling right now.

Moi is me and Toi is you

Today, I wake up not knowing

A world of pain has showing

A black heart that corrupting

The pure of moi

Moi is toi, but toi is not moi

Different and similar are nothing but a line

A line that neither small or big

But it's what make a big difference.

Once day, I be cinder and ash

The fire that store inside

Will one day explode and consume me

I wonder when will it be

A time of love and despair

Love and despair is nothing but a line

A line of seperation and confusion

A time of distort and waiting...

oK, RIGHT NOW IM IN OAKLAND. iT COLD AND WET HERE. i DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD WANT TO BE HERE. i'M GOING TO EAT SUSHI LATER. iSN'T THAT YUMMY. yYA FOR ME. tOO BAD MY STOMACH IS HURTING RIGHT NOW. BB

Yesterday was so fun. Key club emeting than play pool at 300. It was fun and awesome, Lorita have her driver id so we could get in. Thenafter that lorita leave. Kevin, phuong anh and me when to the movie

we waited until 855

to go see he not that into you

Happy valentine

Happy valentine guys. This valentine I feel tire. Sleep so much because last night Iwas out going movie. I could feel the dizziness still in my head. Well, imma go party now. Bb and have a great valentine you guys.

ok ppl

ok ppl, tell me which poem i can use for the poetry slam. i write so many poems that i can hardly chose them. there are some i like very much. but i dont know if any1 like it.

hi, tmr i have saturday class. thenconclave. i was thinking of how tyired it is to go all day. i want to stay home and do film meditation. isnt that fun. watch movie all day long

fun

today key club was fun.christopher keep "flirting" with cathy. How funny, then I join in teasing both og them and all three of us got yell by Ms. Buelna. then all of us have a conversionof our own. 

4 think I still remember about you! Poem

I could still feel your touch on my lips

The sweetness of fresh honey that drive me nut

Smell of hot, breath, taking air fills my lungs

And soon will hold me in it spell

I could still hear your voices in my head

The thickness of each word you said to me

Your words draw me to you like bees and honey

I wanted to hear more but silents is all I heard

I could still taste the tears on your eyes

The sorrow of each drop and the medicine to pain

Travel down your face and hit the ground

Composed of feeling you hold deep down "inside"

I could still sense the presence of you here

The smell of vanilla on your hand

as I lick it off clean for you

You smiled and walk away

I'm sorry, my mistake"poem"

Candle flares lighted my room

as my mom stayed up all night
sewing my clothes and my wounds
each stitches has showed me each feeling
her kindness and love can't be replace and describe
her shadow is very much motherly

As I look at it
I'd begun to realize
How I mistreated her now and then
All she gave me is love
The love that is so pure

that nothing in the world could compare to
I am filled with sorrows and regrets
I'd just could end my life there
but this is the life she gave to me
Now I hold dear to it
and live only for her

"Feeling" Poem

Please don't call me for no reason

But let my soul be the wind

Help me stand and guide me through

These are my feelings I hold dear to

One, and two and lastly three

It's time to end what is here

Smile and greet with these tears

Then let the world know what you hear

There is a part I want to take

There is a time where I want to part

Sweet and sadness gather to join

Now the curse has lifted as I rejoice.

Come and go as you're please

Lock the door and leave the key

Drive away and let me be

But love has guided you back to me

123, let dance to night. Me and phuong anh took a college class today at evegreen college and it was so fun. Dancing is funny and how the guy shake their hip is hilarious. Phuong anh was funny and me, I'd fun.

I can't believe it I gamble and lost 40$. So sad, but oh well it worth while and fun. Guys, it the end of the first month of the year. We have 11 more month to go so be prepare. Final is coming up in 4 month. Im waiting for it. Then it summer.

Poem, remember my name

Remember my name

so you can call me in your dream

Just a little bit of love

drove me to desolation

Am I still in love

since I misses you

You have forgotten

but I still remember

Since you step out to goes

I stay in pain and suffer

White cloths I wore

sitting in your room

Storms rage and hail crash

when you return to me

So sad and lonely

the night covered you

Once, on the hill

you made poems

Flower and tree sing and dance

It will be the last

Bird flying south

Fly over your grave

I realize I was in love

It was too late by now

Oh my poor love

Fairy tale is just a story

All I wish is together

But why God play with our life

Now I turn my head around

wish you good bye

Please don't stop the time

I will look forward to life. 

Ok, this poem just poem out of nowhere.

I'm missing you

I'm dreaming now

I will go down until time goes

and by.

Never let go

Until time stop

and when we are together

now.

Let me be here

Let you hear me

For cry and cry

out is your name.

I want to scream

I want to yell

why can't I hear your 

voice by now.

Fly like the wind

Dive like the sea

free like the air

surround you now.

I missing you

you gone by now

until time stop

we see again.

Good Night

This year, so many bad thing happen to me. My whole life is so mess up. Everything goes again me, and I'm not happen. And new year came and I still feel tire and sad. My life is too mess up right now than before. I just not use to deal with this, I think Imma meditate tonight.

"Poem" Where are You?

While I walking on the road of life
Each step, it remind me of you
Your smiles and soul are still by my side
But you're not here

I thought we'd be like this forever
but life is just so unexpected
How, sometime I believed you still here
but your touches is what I'm missing

Sorrows that I can't describe
so painful I could die
your last word is goodbye
As I hold your hands and cries

I'd often see illusions of you
With a smile telling me to move on
The sky is turning blue
And a new day begin for me

It's like a nightmare
when you're not here

When the day end and morning come

The cycle will begin again.

Bcd

Wow it my little bd and we celebrating it. Funnnnnnnn. Eating stuff and hang out with family. Playing card and make bomb. So I be gone now. Bb

Can't believe it

It already the 3rd days of the 4th day break. I'm, so sad that school gonna start soon. I hate this so much. I wish school will be fun the upcoming week. Like a teacher that is like bad.Scary students something like that.

*Even Now I'd still

Even now, I'd still remember the sweetness of her voice. First grade start out as a new beginning for me. It make me feel more grow up and looking much better.
It was a fine day today and my mom took me to school. When we reach the front stoned-cement gate. Students like me dressed up with white shirt and dark blue pant and their parents walk them to school with a smile on their face. The first impression I got from the school was like something I never get before. Trees of red flower grow around the school and inside also it in full bloom. The smell evaporated the nervous inside everyone and placed inside them with a sense of home sweet home feeling. Red bricks piling on the school top and make the classroom stand out from the houses near the school. I thought that it was too much to take in for me during my first day of school but I would never guess that there be more.

The classrooms smell of chalk and old woods. Chairs and tables are glued to each other and it make out of wood. Students quickly sat down at their place because on the board a sitting chart was written on it and I was very lucky. A girl who not my friend and not one that I know of, was sitting next to me. I looked at her and she flashed a smile at me. I smile back of course but she was cute. Her hair were short, curly, tall, white skin, brownish hair and she big eye with long eyelashes. For some reason she start talking to me and I would respond to her saying. She is always smile and hold my hand. I never feel nervous around her or by other girlssince I'm in 1st grade.

Around beginning of the third weeks of school. She asked me to teach her play jump rope and I was somehow the exper's in it. Sometime I would play jump rode with the 5th grade because I was too good. People in my town doesn't say that jump rope is for girls only because we are too poor to buy anything except roper ban and make it into a jump rope. Plus, the jump rope we play need balance and able to lift yourself high in the sky. The school courtyard was make up of small rock that hurt your feet when you walk without your sandals. Throw out the school year, I keep teaching her jump rope and play shoot the marbles. She improved alot with my teaching and the thing I still respect her for is, she wore high sandal that is really high. When she wore high sandal, she would be tall as me.

Once after school around spring, she asked me to her house to do homework because I was smart. We walked on the red powder rode of vietnam because if anyone wear white. The cloth would look redish color later. It was fun during the walking because we in a forest. Sometime we would hear rushling around us and we ran. Her face show such a nice have fun face. When we arrived at her old house. It was amaze to me how her house surround by leaves and wine. Her mom was nice to me and give me food to eat then we did our homework. Before I known it, outside is darkening and her dad drove me home. My mom would stand at front porch and greet me.

We went to 2nd grade together and before november. I had to say goodbye to her because I'm going to America. She challenged me to the last game of jumprope but I win because I alway win. It was fun and a memory that I would never forget. Her face was sad on the day I leave but she smile for me.

Now, it been 7 years since I saw any pictures of her or even talk to her. I lost her contact and I was having a hard time of my own here in America. Now I'm writing this, it give me sweet memory of someone I hold dear to in my heart. It late at night for I had put the pen down. Next time I write what will it be about?

Sitting here

Ok, so I was sitting here and type this blog. I was eatting two big, gigantic and loafsome croissant and it was delicious. I could feel the baked bread trying to multiply in my stomach. It make me want to throw up. Ewwww! Ok, so my next blog will be my homework.

Board Meeting

Today at Ms.Buelna room. We have a BM and it was so long. It was fun thought and we discuss alot of stuff. Jamba juice is out and it easy to sign up for ticket and Free day is coming up. We selling Chow Mein agian.

The Story's of My Life

November 20, 1993 I was born

January 14, 1994 My dad families leave for America leaving my mom and me.

He didn't even say a word to my mom that he is leaving for America until he at the airport. His families hate me and my mom very much especially my dad mother. They say that we are so poor and unfit to be in there family.

A little information about my dad family. There are six children in it and my dad is the oldest one. That make me the brother of whoever children that born in that family even if they older than me. Only 5 of the children came to america because the 2nd oldest married and didnt want to leave her family so she stayed behind. My grandpa(my dad -dad) was in the army of south vietnam and when it got capture. The communist took him to jail and stayed in there for 10 years. Because of that, my dad family earned the trip to America to make a new living.My dad family is not that rich either. 

As the years went by, I grew up and my mom have to cook food in a small restaurant she make out of our small house. She an awesome cook but my dad jealous and told her to shut it down because alot of customer came and eat at her place rather than other people. Then she goes into making cloths. During those time, my dad would sent to my mom money to raise me but not that much either. Then my dad send a lot sum of money to rebuild my house because my house is only make of brick that nearly about to break down. We build a house with  two bedroom. My mom-mom move in, my mom big sister move in and two of my cousins too(who their mom abandon them since they was infants. My mom and her sister took their hand and raise each of them. They older than me of course. 

Month-x-1999 My dad came back to Vietnam and that the first time I see my dad. There nothing special about him to me because I never get the fact that I have a dad. He say he came back to visit me and my mom and do some paper work so we can come to America. Soon some month later he leave for America.

October 6, 2001 We arrive at San Francisco airport and my dad, my dad parent came to greet us. Then we have a party at their house in Union city. Then after that we move in with my 3rd uncle. He live in fremont with his second wife and 2 children, they only 9month old and  2 years old.

We lived there until somewhere around 2003. During those time, my mom somehow gone crazy. She would forgot who she is and who I am. Sometime I ask her who I am, she would say I'm someone that is so random. Then she start to crawl outside like a crocodile. Whoever stand in front of her she would bite like a crocodile. Then she would eat leaves. Those was harsh time for me and my dad. Another thing that bad is my dad would usually slap me on the butt when I do something wrong or whip me. It usual for my anyway because I get whip at Vietnam by my mom sometime. Also the two little children would alway get me into trouble whenever I play with them because they a cry baby and alway put the fault on me. Around 2003, my dad make a joke that the house is somehow haunted and so we move.

December 6, 2002 My 3rd uncle  first wife came to America and bring her 3 children. The oldest is a girl and is 1 year older than me. The second one same age. and the third one is 3 year younger than me. 

We moved to somewhere in Fremont again. My 3rd uncle first wife move right in front of us(we live in an apartment). And so live go on. Sometime My mom would go crazy agian. She got pregnant and give me a sister. Then she got her hair liscensed. Right after I came to America, my dad is layoff and to now, 2009 he is not even working. Every year I would move because my parent would argue too often. During those time, he would hit me and not just slap not the butt but my face and he would kick me in the back and like everywhere. 

2006- We move to Campbell and lived there. He still hitting me and Sometime I face would have bruises everywhere. Sometime he try to strangle and he would say, you are not my son. You are someone else son. You could feel how hurtful that is. The only time I feel like myself is at school because at home. They would argue and fight with each other. The neighbor would ask me, what happen between your parent last night because I saw them fightning with each other outside. It such an embarass thing to answer but I just answer them like nothing happen because it usually happen so it feel nothing new. 

2007- September He hitted me on my face and hit my nose and try to strangled me and punch my mom. My mom say called the police and he say that call for all I care. I just call the social worker to send both of you back to Vietnam because you got no American Citizenship. I know that won't work but my mom is someone who easily believable. My mom couldn't make the call but I press 911, it ring for 1 then my mom press end. Then my mom say let leave, Your dad is useless. After I been to america. All I do is work and your dad sit home on his ass working on his computer that can't even afford the rent or the grocery for one day. He too lazy to even go outside to find a decent job and that he think those job that pay around 14$ out there is not good for him bcaus he a high technology engineer. We leave he house but sit in the car in front of our house. Then we saw him go out and get on his car and drove away. Then 2 min later, we saw two police car arrive in front of the house and they went into our house. Then they came out and about to leave but I hate him so much that I get out of the car. My mom told me to stop but I walk to them and told them that I called them. We talk for a little while and they say that they will bring him to court. After that, my dad-dad somehow through a cup and hit my dad-mom and my dad-mom bring her husband ot court. They say that they need my dad to represent my grandpa in this case. That morning, he went to court and afternoon. My mom came home and told my that brought my dad to jail. Then during the few month, I have to went to court. During those time, I didn't even went to visit him once and he told my mom to bail him out. I told my mom that don't be stupid and do that. What will you do if after he got out of jail and leave you. Who will pay the money, now that this happen, go all the way. My dad family pretend to be nice to me because im the one who is important for my dad release. During the last court, I was thinking of how he brouht me over here so I leave out some fact that would jail him for a few year but I told them that he is not allow to talk to me and will not step into the house. My mom willing to talk to him because she love him and after he got out. I didn't let my mom pick him up and my dad parent give me a talk but I was like. Y don't you teach your son rather than teach me. You never like me from the beginning. Look at your son, did you raise him well. No, then don't give me that talk because he mean nothing to me. All he die or live doesn't goes with me. My dad went and live with his parents. During all this, I tryin to skip 8th grade and somehow I passed all the test.

After that my mom and me move to san jose and I went to Guderson High school. He call my mom family in Vietnam and tell them that my mom is owning ppl a lot of money and now they are after her. They gonna kill her, which is not true. My mom got mad easily and he know that but he try to make her mad. Then time pass and me and my dad would argue more. Then around 1 month ago. My sister went live with me and then my dad and his mom went back to vietnam without even sayin a word. He go over there to meet his new gf. He is 43 and the girl is 23. My dad take my mom family to meet his gf and say that if my family is selling the house then he would buy it for the girl ot live in. That make my mom mad alot because he don't even have the money to help raise me and my sister and he would say buy a house. He can't even afford livin alone. He living iwth his mom right now. He also say that he took care of my sister for a whole year now and now my mom is takin care of her. She is asking him for money. He go around my mom birthplace and bad talk about her. Which make her mad. Once thing is that he can't even afford to live alone and he talk about buy the house for his new gf to live. Also my mom ask him for money while whenever we take him out for dinner because we want ot have a family meeting for my little sister. My mom alway pay and she give him some money because she know he not working. And today, My mom heard about what he say, she got so mad and the house is an uproar. I never get to live in peace. Now I usually get anry at people for not much reason. I feel like im not myself and it hurt me much. I feel like I don't even know my mom,, she a totally different person. The good thing is that American kid over here, they seem to be so spoil. They get most of the stuff they want and they want more. Their family, they don't think it precious when I can't even have a nice dinner. I feel the live between me and the kid over here too different. I live in farm and I know stuff. I do everything by myself that y I alway alone.

Bb for now, it midniht

4 season? I'm crazy

The river flow softly

For the spring have visit

The leaves grow upward

starting the reflection of life

The river flow somewhere

For the summer has come

The wheat turn yellow

ready for the farmer to pick

The river turn spiral

since it carry leaves

The autumn appear

to let gathering food begin

The river is expressionless

Since the water have froze

The bear is inside 

and the chipmunk is sleeping.

Now a year have come and go

The four season start and end

The life cycle never stop

For life is alway there.